That is just my question, all my friends are different, they have different fears and talents and different lifes. But we can all "see" what some one is like and can imagine what it must be like to Be another person.

So I can see what it might be like to be some else.

Or when I "see" other people am I seeing myself ? Do I always "see myself in others".

Is this transferance or projection? Is everything transferance ? What is the "proper" way to view projection ? I.E. what is its original purpose, as it is given a negative view in modern psychology?

Hmmm.

I'm not sure how possible it is to truly experience what it is like to be someone else. In acting, I've spent months bringing as much energy of a particular character forward as possible - and no matter what character it was, even criminals, there was always a strong element of myself in it. Of course, this was usually an aspect of myself that I didn't usually bring out often.

Regarding psychology, I think the roots of psychology had as much to do with fighting to make sure it was considered as a science rather than an art, and so be taken seriously. Many of the concepts are not absolute, but relative solely to the culture it was created in. Freud, for example, modified many of his thoughts (such as regarding sexual abuse in his female hysteric clients) because he discovered those thoughts would not be accepted. And so, I think there's a collective denial in the belief that it is possible for a psychologist to avoid transference and projection, which is to say, be divorced from one's own emotional issues and reality. Projection and transference aren't by themselves good or bad, just something that happens when the connection to self isn't that solid yet. Many psychologists have little firm connection to self; it is often a reason to enter the field. Not all of them, of course - it's hit and miss.

Regarding seeing one's self in others, I think this is all we do. I also think that the more we see ourselves clearly, with all our contradictions and infinite aspects, the more we can also see others clearly. So seeing one's self clearly and seeing others clearly in my mind are intrinsically related.

Not sure if that answered your question, but those are my thoughts!

I would agree -- I don't think any of us are capable of truly knowing what it is like to be someone else. We'll still always have our own perception, no matter how much we attempt to imagine what it is like to be that other person. That's not to say that the practice isn't worthwhile, because it is. Certainly by imagining what it is like to be someone else, it gives us more compassion about their experience. But we are still viewing that from our own perception.

Of course, to turn this around, we can root ourselves in the notion that we are all one. That each of us is truly a mirror for us in some way. I do love the idea of finding self in others. For me, it's a practice that builds understanding and compassion, not only for others but for myself as well. If I can love something in someone else, then surely I can find a way to love that thing in myself.

I would say that projection has more to do with expectations -- when you project yourself or your perceptions onto the behaviors of someone else, you create the expectation that they will behave as you would. Recipe for disappointment right there.

Transference, in my opinion, is about boundaries. When you have unclear boundaries you are more likely to transfer your perceptions from one person to another. We are always making qualitative assessments; it is difficult to remain rooted in the present and make assessments based solely on what you observe and feel in that moment, so we resort to transference in an attempt to make sense of things. But the better personal boundaries we have (expanding the Self into the space around us, not erecting walls), the better place we are in to make assessments about people without resorting to transference.

I agree, I think we use transference on others to gain different perspectives to gain empathy and broaden our experience. Projection, to also remind ourselves of how we portray ourselves to others, whether it be acting from heart or from the mind. Interesting point Gregor!