Why is the break up of a relationship so hard ?

Are there things to do with childhood memories ?

When you think of our partner and your break up, what are you really seeing ?

Does relatrionship break up have a link with ansestral knowledge ?

What is the fear we feel at the break up of a relationship. What is the guilt ?

Why when you break up with different people does the pain feel like the same pain ?

When we are in soul form (dead) do we have better relations with other souls ?

If you could *SEE* love and the break up what would it look like ?

There is nothing like deep intimacy to connect us to the primal beliefs and greater awareness that's within us. As much as we rationalize it, our deep connections with others - starting from the primary caregiver as a child - represent archetypes, love, and God to us. It goes beyond the rational mind into the Mythos of our culture.

To me that's both beautiful and scary. I still don't know all my deep seated beliefs, expecations and fears. I can easily superimpose an archetype on how I relate to others. Is this archetype "The Lover"? Or is it something like Medea or the "Broken Healer" or "The Desperate Clinging One?" As much as I try to think of myself as rational, I know that something primal in me is activated, and when a deep connection happens, there's always something of the archetype there. There's always something about my image of God and of Love; is there truly Love for me? So I think it's the most rational thing to me to admit I'm not rational and that at these times what shows is what I most need to look at.

And yes, I also think at those times, because we're so open to this primal energy and not superimposing who we think we should be (at least not without major cracks showing in that wall) there's a huge connection available to others. There are millions of people out there going through very similar things. It helps to do a practice like Tonglen (Karen wrote about it in a blog here), which is of wishing love and compassion for those in a similar state.

I think the most loving breakup is when you're clear about your feelings, what you want, and you don't want the other to change or to make you feel any different. There's nothing wrong the other person is doing, nothing wrong with them, and nothing wrong with you. There's pain, but also love, and there's no distinction between the two. There's love in that pain if you look deeply enough, but of course it's very hard to see it in the moment.

It's of course such a large topic, but those are my first thoughts...