This thread discusses the Content article: Martyrdom and Healing the Victim Consciousness

Diane graciously stopped by on the way to see her godmother in Vancouver, and it brought up a lot of thoughts on Martyrdom.

The first thought which is sort of implied is that in the "getting smaller", there is a tendency to give yourself to another person. In spirituality (and channeling) this tends to manifest as putting your own inner knowingness, wisdom and desires aside in order to follow a path or a teacher. Putting yourself aside (which includes shoving your thoughts and desires aside) automatically makes the energetic field smaller, because you're not bringing it forward. But with any sacrifice, there's always expectation associated with it. If you spend lots of money on workshops and so on, you should get enlightened - right!?!

That's why I still love the Krishnamurthi quote "Truth is a pathless land". It was in reference to this kind of association.

Another part of being small is the assumption that you being small helps another person be big. After all, you're sacrificing for them. You're giving them space.

I think the known descriptions, especially those on the MichaemTeachings site, are quite stereotypical. They're also from the outside looking in - at the stereotype. In other words, a caricature. I think Karen's channeling of it is attempting to look at it from the inside, energetically. When you do that, it's much clearer that there are no "better" chief features. From the outside, of course who would ever want self destruction or martyrdom? Arrogance doesn't even sound that bad! But from the inside, it is very clear that all chief features affect your experience and joy pretty much equally and there aren't any better ones.

Any other thoughts?



(And hello to all new forum members - feel free to introduce yourself or introduce any other topic!)

lovingawareness wrote:
Diane graciously stopped by on the way to see her godmother in Vancouver, and it brought up a lot of thoughts on Martyrdom.
I even got a brand new set of overleaves out of the deal. I blame you for making me totally disoriented this week, Matthew. There's your friggin Martyrdom. :-P

The first thought which is sort of implied is that in the "getting smaller", there is a tendency to give yourself to another person. In spirituality (and channeling) this tends to manifest as putting your own inner knowingness, wisdom and desires aside in order to follow a path or a teacher. Putting yourself aside (which includes shoving your thoughts and desires aside) automatically makes the energetic field smaller, because you're not bringing it forward. But with any sacrifice, there's always expectation associated with it. If you spend lots of money on workshops and so on, you should get enlightened - right!?!

That's why I still love the Krishnamurthi quote "Truth is a pathless land". It was in reference to this kind of association.

Another part of being small is the assumption that you being small helps another person be big. After all, you're sacrificing for them. You're giving them space.
This makes more sense. I was having trouble connecting "putting myself aside" with "sacrifice". To me the word sacrifice sounds active, even pushy, and reminiscent of Zeal (martyrs are people who sacrifice themselves for a cause, after all).

For me, Martyrdom feels a lot more subtle than that, and it's primarily inward focused rather than outward through blaming or overt sacrifice. Which is in line with the ordinal nature of the CF.

It just occurred to me that for a long time, I would long for spiritual experiences while believing that they wouldn't happen to me. I wanted to be sensitive to energy and believed I just wasn't. I wanted to have psychic experiences and believed I didn't have the talent. I wanted to start a business and couldn't see how to get there. These were things I desired more than anything, and I had believed I couldn't have them. Definitely a current of unworthiness there :-P.

Hmm, I just noticed that Martyrdom gives up on experiences whereas Impatience fears missing out on experiences. Other than that I'm not clear on what the underlying issue is between Martyrdom and Impatience.

I have more to say on this topic and will post when I get a chance tomorrow.

dianeh wrote:


I even got a brand new set of overleaves out of the deal. I blame you for making me totally disoriented this week, Matthew. There's your friggin Martyrdom. :-P

Sure, blame me. And it was quite a difference too - from Shepherd's King in Dominance and Aggression to an Artisan in Growth and Caution. 'Course, the only person who can say definitively is you. And the friggin Martyrdom doesn't like that!


For me, Martyrdom feels a lot more subtle than that, and it's primarily inward focused rather than outward through blaming or overt sacrifice. Which is in line with the ordinal nature of the CF.

I totally agree. Martyrdom isn't a Joan of Arc complex. Ok, if you get a really extroverted Sage or Priest it can be! But for most people, it's definitely inward focused. It can be hard externally to differentiate between Self Dep, Martyrdom, and Self Destruction because of that. IMO, there are plenty of people online (including channels) who say they're in Self Dep because they know they have an ordinal chief feature, but don't resonate with the stereotypes of the other two and choose self dep because it sounds the nicest. Who wants to be in Self Destruction? Or Martyrdom? I've noticed plenty of people who go "Ewww" when they hear of those overleaves. It makes a big difference, especially when there's someone with a public image to maintain.

It just occurred to me that for a long time, I would long for spiritual experiences while believing that they wouldn't happen to me. I wanted to be sensitive to energy and believed I just wasn't. I wanted to have psychic experiences and believed I didn't have the talent. I wanted to start a business and couldn't see how to get there. These were things I desired more than anything, and I had believed I couldn't have them. Definitely a current of unworthiness there :-P.

Yes, when you think that the way to achieve something - even unconsciously - is to get smaller, it's very hard to initiate something without grasping on to someone else. I have some of that too; I recognize some martyrdom in me. Could be some sliding over from impatience, I don't know.

As I mentioned privately, I think there is this glorification of Bhakti Yoga - the yoga of devotion. Throwing yourself into a path or teacher is suppose to yield great results. I think it can, depending on overleaves. Those in Submission or Passion tend to resonate more with it, when they're in the positive pole. I don't have either, and I noticed when I tried that path (I spent some time in an ashram in India) I went straight to Martyrdom, giving up myself in hopes of getting something. The best thing that happened to be in India was seeing where that was going to go, and just using the remaining months to go to the rest of India, have fun, relax, and connect with people without agenda. River rafting down the Kali Gandaki, enjoying small villages in the Himalayas, hanging out with fellow travelers. That really opened me up, because my energy was coming out.

Karen will eventually get to Impatience so we'll see what the relationship is! I notice my energy gets smaller when I'm really in impatience too, because I'm just not present - which is to say I have little presence.

I love hearing your own insights.

lovingawareness wrote:
And it was quite a difference too - from Shepherd's King in Dominance and Aggression to an Artisan in Growth and Caution. 'Course, the only person who can say definitively is you. And the friggin Martyrdom doesn't like that!
I reserve judgment on the Artisan role. Martyrdom can kiss my ass.

I notice my energy gets smaller when I'm really in impatience too, because I'm just not present - which is to say I have little presence.
I've got my own share of experience with Impatience (maybe because of sliding), most noticeable when I travel to a new place, or with the books I'm interested in reading. When traveling by myself, I'd often stay in one place for only a short while and then move on to the next interesting location, for fear of missing something worth seeing. I end up not experiencing any one place fully because I'm thinking the next place might be "better".

I have almost a full bookshelf of unread books (mostly because I'm furiously reading library books before they're due), a library "wish list" 80+ long, and an Amazon wish list about 180+ long. I'm sure my Scholar casting has something to do with that, but I also have a tendency to read new spiritual books with yet another promise for change, when many of them repeat the same principles with only a few differences. That has to do with Martyrdom thinking other people know better than I do, but I can also see a fear of missing out on important information if I don't read this book or don't read every part of the book.

I've become a little more discriminating in recent months, though, and learned to skim books for the meaty stuff rather than read the whole thing. Or go as far as thinking, "this is so basic even I could've written that."

It seems to me that both Martyrdom and Impatience make other people/experiences more important than they are. So Martyrdom makes themselves smaller to accommodate others, whereas Impatiences thinks the next thing must be more important. The ordinal lets things in, and the cardinal goes after them. That's not a perfect description, but I think I'm getting closer.

I was meditating this morning and tried see if I could get in touch with Michael. Didn't seem to happen, so I decided to ask for the origins of Martyrdom in me. I saw an image of my grandparents' (on father's side) living room in Taiwan, in the first house they lived in while I was growing up. I had this memory/feeling of how girl children were considered less valuable than boy children. It was more prominent on my dad's side of the family than my mom's side.

I remembered sitting in the car once (I might've been 10 or so) and overhearing my mom talk about how my grandfather hadn't smiled at all when I was born, but was so happy when she gave birth to my brother a year and a half later. I commented that grandpa valued boys more than girls (there's a Chinese phrase for that kind of person), and my mom turned to me and said, "oh that's not true." (Thanks for the invalidation, Mom.) I myself had felt bad for families that didn't have boy children until a good ten years after I've lived in the US.

That sounds like a good foundation for Martyrdom to me.

Wow, Again, insightful! This article truly gives me a new perception of Martyrdom, definitely a better compassionate view, I had an ex-partner who I used to label as a big-time martyr, now I understand ! I also recognise aspects of martyrdom in myself, where I wasn't aware. A step closer to self-awareness!Love &light.

I can certainly see martyrdom and victim consciousness in my self. This thread points out for me where I've seen it in others but not in my self. We probably ALL have some of this feature. We are taught to make ourselves smaller for others....Don't be selfish, etc.

I will be much more aware of making my self smaller.
Brenda

This is one of the chief features that society rewards (up to a point), so yes, it's fairly common and a lot of people use this energy.

There are 7 chief features and most of us regularly use the energies of about 4 of them (sometimes more -- why not make it a party? ).

Feeling compassion and having understanding for these admittedly difficult aspects of ourselves definitely helps. We chose them for a reason, even if it was out of a feeling of lack or to protect from having a feeling we didn't like. We can learn to work with these energies instead of being ruled by them. I have found that wearing my chief features proudly decreases the energetic hold they have on me and my reactions in situations, and ends up completely defusing the energy, which makes other people much more accepting of it.

As I look more deeply into the "ego stuff" (to be honest, I don't like the term chief feature anymore but don't know a better term), it's pretty clear that

• We all have plenty of it


• They're not faults, just defenses for things that are uncomfortable


• Seeing more deeply and clearly what goes on under the surface always seems to make me more compassionate, both of myself and others.

I've come to see that defenses are not bad in and of themselves. It's true that resistance causes suffering, but on the other hand, fully allowing all the perceptions available to us would be overwhelming too. That's why the thought "hey, that's ego, get rid of it!" is so unhelpful. I've come to the point of just looking at "hey, what do I want to avoid now" and then lightly touching it. Not pushing myself to it in a spiritually macho "I must face it" mentality, because I've learned that that's another way to avoid things - I sort of split myself so that only a part of me feels the uncomfortable feeling or thought.

I definitely have martyrdom. I mean, how many of us don't have the thought "to make love work, you have to make sacrifices!" Competition is built into our brains in this society, to the point that it always seems there must be winners and losers. Going beyond martyrdom seems to be about knowing in all cases it's possible for everyone to be truly fulfilled and lacking nothing if the essentials are kept close to the heart.

I think the more poor (finanically), the more suppressed (e.g. the Jews were once slaves in Egypt), the more martyrdom is welcomed by the people/race.

If you think about it, it is a "profitable" trade. With a low self-esteem, suffering from poverty, slavery, ...whatnot, anything but a happy, satisfying, fulling life, there is little to lose and much gain by being a martyr, or buying into religions that advocates martyrdom. You get a pat on the back by everyone else in your group --- to those who lack self-esteem, this is a high return investment, considering the cost of investment is next to zero.