This month brings a sense of making a decision. Choice. Black, or white? Here, or there? Should I stay or should I go? For many, what begins the month is the feeling that something must be done. That action is necessary in order to create the next step or enter the next phase. That everything will remain as it is unless something is done to stop the status quo or to move into what comes next.

What we feel on a personal level is much like a microcosm of what is taking place on a global level. This is frequently the case, even for those who don’t maintain conscious awareness of the overall connection of all beings. The awareness lies underneath where we can’t always touch it, yet it is there nonetheless: supporting us, creating a foundation, acting as an underground spring and giving lifeblood to all actions, thoughts, and emotions. On a global level, then, such a sense of decision is also apparent.

It is easy, given our cultural framework, to imagine spiritual learning as analogous to education - that spiritual learning is an accumulation. The idea we have is that one must keep learning, keep reading, keep listening to teachers, keep doing yoga in order to "advance." However, in truth, spiritual learning is nothing more than learning to be fully who you are. There is no "better" as you grow older and have more experience. There is simply more of who you are.

"In pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added.

In the practice of the Tao, every day something is dropped." - The Tao te Ching

No matter which spiritual path you choose, the path will always bring you to You. Some people take roundabout paths and some dive in headlong. There is structure in the manifestation of spiritual learning as the learning moves deeper into the cells of your body and your basic being. This structure creates "layers" of spiritual learning. There is movement among the layers — this is not a static creation, nor is movement restricted to one direction only. Each of the seven layers exists within you, and each may be accessed at any time (although you likely will "live" in one for a period of time). All layers are necessary to create the tapestry that which is You.

Layers — not Levels — of Spiritual Learning

Our cultural framework suggests that older and wiser is better. Certainly, in physical life, age can bring the wisdom of experience. This often translates into perception of spiritual wisdom: "I'm an old soul, therefore I'm more evolved than you" is commonly thought but likely not voiced. But in reality, everyone — from infant to elder — is on a level playing field, simply operating from a different perception. The idea of layers conveys that. All layers exist simultaneously. One layer may be close to your core, like the core of an onion, but all layers are part of you and none are let go of or moved through, discarded. You do not grow beyond a layer other than letting go of identification with it. Each layer is simply an aspect of yourself. Deeper layers are not better; they are simply present with you at all times, ready for access. Within you, you always have both the new explorer and the enlightened master.

Moving through the layers is not a linear process. You do not finish one and then move on to the next. There may be, for a time, a "home" for you in one of the layers (certainly, when looking at them, you'll be able to easily identify the layer you spend most of your time in now, as well as layers you have used in the past), but you have access to all of them at all times. They are always a part of your experience.

Layer 1: Explorer

This initial layer holds the excitement of bounding out on a newfound journey. The quest has begun. You feel an initial sense of wonder, like a child tasting candy for a first time. You taste the potential of spiritual presence and its benefits and you feel the energy coursing in your body. In some ways, you have a core connection to what the deepest spiritual attainment is — this generates enormous energy and inspiration and draws you forward to your chosen path.

It is all new, so you explore the spiritual world with a child's wide open eyes. This is what we often refer to as the "sponge" stage. In it, you accept everything but you do not yet apply discernment or even much differentiation. Everything is good; everything is valid. You might explore and read any related subject to your interest. You might follow the recommendation of any teacher, friend or acquaintance who appears to be on a spiritual path. For instance, if you are interested in Buddhism, you might read every Buddhist title in the local library to explore it all, irrespective of the branch of Buddhism, and you might also read anything else with an Eastern flavor such as Hindu teachers. Because of the newness, exploration within this layer can feel like pure Truth and the stuff of great revelations. This is the "diving in" to a new teaching. This layer helps you get a feel for what is out there and helps bring the teachings deeper within you, past the surface layers of personality.

Layer 2: Initiate

After some time spent in the Explorer layer, there is often a realization that you need to narrow down your focus so that you can explore more deeply into what resonates with you. You cannot become a master of all teachings at once; here you find that you need to focus on one thing at a time.

The emphasis in this layer of learning is on the structure of what is being learned. Passages, sutras, and scriptures are memorized and you attempt to distill for yourself the essence of a teaching for a purer understanding. This helps you incorporate that essence into the routine of your daily life. You have a basic understanding of your chosen teaching, and with this understanding comes a first siphoning off of what does not work. For instance, if you were learning about Christianity, you might at this point choose which denomination you wish to belong to and decide on some level that other denominations aren't "the Truth"- for you. You have decided which path to follow and what works best for you in this moment. This enables you to have more focus so as to better incorporate what there is to learn in the cells of your body.

Within this layer, there is also a sense of awe for all the wisdom that is out there as well as for other "wiser" beings who are teaching you. You search for teachers who bring a deeper layer of learning. This can give you a magnificent feeling of support and guidance, and it can also lead to the (false) belief that others know best for you than you do. This belief is gradually let go as learning progresses.

Layer 3: Teacher

Within this layer of learning, you've already accomplished a lot of intellectual and social learning — there is a recognition that further study yields diminishing returns. You see all the learning that you have accomplished so far. The value of the teaching is still very much appreciated, however, and so you begin to focus on teaching what you have learned to others. There is an emphasis on demonstrating the authority of learning — that you know the teaching. Teaching others brings you a renewed appreciation in what you have learned; there is a dual experience of the joy of this path.

Within this layer, you may desire to create a study group. You may become a counselor. You may respond regularly to questions in a society or in an online group. You may proselytize if your path advocates it. You may write a blog. By teaching others and exploring your own beliefs, you learn more yourself and see how your learning interacts with others' paths. You expand your own presence to try to influence others.

The limit of the learning so far, however, is that up to this point you have been learning primarily from external sources: books, teachers, and the community around you. You are an authority under something else such as an organization or an abstract teaching. Therefore what you teach tends to be your interpreted regurgitation of what you have learned so far. You do not yet teach directly and solely from your own soul. In other words, the student becomes an authority by playing the role of what they think a true person on the path should be. A student of Buddhism might meditate regularly, speak with compassion and follow the eightfold noble path as best as they can. A student of the Michael Material might teach others about overleaves or begin to learn to channel. If you have an advanced degree in psychology you may hold workshops and counsel others.

Experimenting with authority in this external fashion is all part of the journey to find a true sense of inner power by learning to live your path from your deepest essence.

Layer 4: The Search Begins

"What?" you may exclaim. "The Search Begins only here? What about Layers 1 to 3? I've been an expert - I'm not just beginning!"

It is in this layer that the diving off the cliff toward inner knowingness truly begins. This is the fulcrum layer between following a teaching and living it from within. In the previous layers, there was a social identity — a firm path to follow — which can involve teaching others. If you belong to an organization and have an identity as such, you'll have an understanding of what is appropriate within the teaching of your organization. However, at some level you will realize that just because someone else speaks a truth doesn't mean their truth is yours. Following the path of one's own quiet inner voice requires courage, integrity, and a willingness to step away from the herd. It requires changing your path if one day that path doesn't feel right for you — even if it disappoints others' expectations.

This is where the dark night of the soul appears. What you know disintegrates and crumbles around you — your identity, your comforts and defenses — so that you may find something greater: your Self.

In short, the inner self opens and begins to speak up. You have a newfound dialog with your own soul and essence. The newness of this creates movement in your life in thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Conflict and turmoil can appear if one's inner voice differs from what has been learned. It is rare that your true perception matches exactly the teaching that you have been following. Perhaps you realize that your body does not truly want to sit in meditation for hours and that substituting other practices can give you the same benefit. Perhaps common phrases you have used now feel dogmatic — that is, having lost their personal meaning for you. Within this layer you'll find yourself questioning authority of all kinds so that you find that you yourself are your own greatest guru. In some spiritual communities, this creates unrest, discomfort and conflict. Cries of 'heresy' and of not being 'true to the teachings' can occur. However, in this layer you feel compelled to truly bring your teaching to a new level that includes being true to one's self. There is a desire to see for one's self instead of relying on anyone else's experience, including liturgy. Every true teaching is a living teaching — and it is your life you bring.

This layer also brings a deeper connection to others — you are bringing more of yourself forward in meeting with others. You are no longer identified as "just" a Christian, Muslim, Jew, or any other member of a teaching. You are you. You are an expression of the Divine, just as you are, and you begin to recognize with your own eyes - not simply through others' words - that others are as well. By beginning to truly be yourself, you support others in recognizing themselves as well. You begin to understand the greeting "Namaste" for the full depth of its meaning:

That which is of God in me greets that which is of God in you.

Layer 5: Truth in the Moment

Here, a regular connection to essence occurs and you recognize the dichotomy that while your past learning may have been true for you at that time, newfound revelations and perceptions are always different in each moment. You therefore learn to live by your own perceptions, moment by moment, with a deep trust in them. You know that there are no rules, only choices - and that all choices contain within them an inherent perfection. You build from your past learning instead of limiting yourself to it. The ideas of "right", "wrong", "good" and "evil" fall by the wayside. There is only Truth, and part of that truth is a deep love of life and everyone and everything in it. The result is an expansive flexibility that is filled with gentle humor and play.
Because of this flexibility, there are many ways that you might manifest who you truly are:

• You may find a newfound interest in other learnings and see them no longer as different from one another, but as part of a universal teaching.
• You may begin to have a gentle, relaxed laughter as the humor of life itself is experienced. Yes, this path is perfect - as is every other path!
• You may find a new sense of creativity and even eccentricity. For instance, if you explained a spiritual topic to others 10 times, you may give 10 completely different explanations - each one being true as a completely new discovery in that moment. These may even be contradictory on a superficial level - but the contradictions will help others see the deeper truth.
• You begin to let go of the "shoulds" that are in your life and live life simply as you desire. There's less need to do anything. Paradoxically, this lets you act selfless, help others more, and make better use of your time.

Living firmly in this energy helps firmly build community and connection around you. True pillars of community live from here.

Layer 6: Living Deep Harmony

In this layer the connection to One has become deeper and stronger; there is less focus on what looks like teaching and more focus on loving. You live life with sacredness and spaciousness of experience, and within that spaciousness grows a deep sense of inner peace. There is room for all of You. This brings harmony in thought, emotion, and action. You love life itself. You meet all of life, from your inner demons to external conflicts, with that sense of inner harmony. This can bring tremendous inspiration to others as it shows others how to let go of past habitual conflicts and destructive habits.

This harmony also extends to tremendous compassion for the world. You bring all you have learned through manifesting a calm sense of appreciation of life in whatever form it may take. This compassion can manifest as humanitarian action, like with Mother Theresa, or through social change, as with the work of Martin Luther King, Jr. Because the action comes from inner peace, movements arise seemingly without effort. There is little basis for internal conflict.

Layer 7: Being Pure Presence

This is where the great spiritual teachers reside. Here you regularly experience essential oneness with the Self: your essence, your Buddha-nature, your Atman, or your Christ Consciousness. You experience the reality of Who You Are. Intellectual learning is put aside as you teach from the Now. There is no longer a need to teach, nor to change things — perfection is experienced simply as What Is. Love is expressed simply by being, and this is felt powerfully by those around you. This manifests as pure presence.

The power of manifesting your full nature cannot be underestimated. Students came simply to sit with Ramana Maharshi, for example, because sitting in his presence enabled them to experience inner harmony for themselves.

Pure presence is more than the ultimate manifestation of a teaching, a religion, or a path. It is the unrestricted allowing of All That Is - and this creates an unlimited potential for creation and conscious choice. It is this field which allows great healing to occur. It is a far deeper authority and power than the third layer, as the authority with the layer of Being Pure Presence comes from the full allowing of All That You Are, which without exception exceeds your wildest imagination of what you can experience. Your full and complete presence is the ultimate gift that you bring to the world and to others.

Using the Layers

How does the layer concept work in reality? Again, there is no linear progress through them, although you may experience a sense of that for a given time. I'll use my own experience as an example:

When I began to focus on my spiritual path, everything lit up for me. I wanted to taste it all. I found truth in so many different things: energy healing of all kinds, crystals, the whole "ascension" idea, plant lore, shamanism, the work of Louise Hay (just a few examples). Everything tasted good! I was clearly in the Explorer layer. This is what I often refer to as the "sponge" stage. As time went on, I applied some discernment. Some things resonated more than others. I deepened my look at the things that felt right to me. I was in the Initiate layer. Over time, I felt that I wanted to speak about what I knew. I had taken these truths into my being and was ready to move them outward again. I was a Teacher, but also used the Explorer and Initiate layers when new things were presented.

Then the real fun began. Everything fell apart and I questioned it all. I went deeper into myself, examined my beliefs, and came out more sure of who I was and how I viewed the Universe. The Search Begins. And at times, because of that, I've been in Truth in the Moment. But frequently I'll move into Teacher because it works for that time. And then into Explorer/Initiate when I wish to learn something new. And I've had moments, perhaps, of Living Deep Harmony and Being Pure Presence — we all have access to those layers — when everything just clicks and I am in the beautiful flow of the moment.

Every layer is part of the beautiful tapestry we weave on a collective global basis through our experience. Every layer has a purpose and a use. Every layer is necessary to create the structure of that tapestry and to hold it together. So wherever you are in the moment is perfect for that moment. You can flow through the layers seamlessly and effortlessly, weaving your own path through the tapestry with glorious colors, being more of who you are, and in so doing encourage others to be more of who they are, to deepen and brighten the colors we weave together.

A note about Monthly Messages: as in any month, the trends we outline for this month upcoming are just that — trends. These trends are based on a variety of influences that include astrological influences, the collective consciousness, and extrapolation from numerous outcomes gleaned from potential futures based on the point from which we give the initial message. As with everything in life, all this is subject to change, and of course, choice. We attempt to outline trends that show the influences that will affect the greatest number of people, but there are always those whose experience doesn't fit within what we map out. We encourage you to use this information as a roadmap of possibility in order to better understand your personal experience as well as your experience within the context of the greater world around you.

In this month, time again seems to speed up. The seeds you have been sowing will find fruit in the harvest beginning this month – in other words, the inner work, external projects, and anything else begun earlier this year (and even back into late 2009) begins to bear fruit in some tangible way starting this month.

The first several days of August will feel much like the latter part of July – unsettled, anxious, chaotic, moving. But by August 6 things begin to calm down. The energy smooths out. You feel a sense of flow, of “rightness” about yourself and the world around you. This does not mean, necessarily, that you won’t continue to be barraged with sensory information about the suffering of the world, but nerves are not as raw. Your emotions are not as much on the surface. You feel a peacefulness and even, perhaps, a glimmer of what inner quiet feels like.

For many this month, what has been on the inside becomes what is on the outside. Again, inner work bears fruit here, and you begin to see how your own inner transformation changes the world around you. Personal interactions become a little easier as a result, as those in your sphere sense the changes within you as well as your newfound sense of peace with your Self. Those who feel this palpable change are likely those who – ironically, perhaps – have been having the greatest amount of inner difficulty and tension these past several months. If you have felt the struggle within yourself, knowing, perhaps, that you have been making strides and realizations, then this is the time to see how all that work begins to pay off in positive ways. This is no time to rest on your laurels, however, as energies later in the month, beginning around the 23^rd, move you into a new cycle of growth, but the peacefulness in the middle of the month can help you realize how far you’ve come and how your work helps you on all levels.

On a wider level, again the energy this month is all about gathering momentum for what is to come in the future. Some of the dynamics we’ve illustrated on a personal level have applicability on a larger group level as well. You can look toward group movement (moving toward the eventual evolution of the group in its purest form) occurring this month in various groups, from families, companies and communities to socio-political groups like countries. Understand that any one individual’s needs and desires may be swallowed by the group’s evolution, as each of these groups has the capacity to act as a sovereign entity. This may be dismaying and upsetting to individuals who become heavily invested in a particular movement pf the group concerned. All of you are part of groups of some sort: your success this month (and into the future, as August is merely a beginning of a new way of interrelating on a group level) depends on your ability to sense and understand the dynamics of the group as a whole rather than your individual thoughts and desires. Notice this is no small task; as humans you of course will have individual desires and will potentially have difficulty allowing the varying perceptions and desires of others within your various groups.

To assist with this process of releasing attachment to individual desire within the context of any group (this works for groups of any size and configuration), we offer the following meditation practice:

Imagine that you are sitting opposite the group you have in mind. You are approximately the same size, both energetically and spatially. It is as if you are sitting across from a mirror image of yourself, but one that just happens to contain the hearts, minds, and sensibilities of the group you have in mind. Don’t worry about logistics; all can be contained within the space needed.

As you sit across from your group, bring your attention to your heart. As you do so, begin breathing intentionally. With each breath, send some of your own heart-energy across the space between you to your group. Imagine that your heart energy makes connection with the heart of the group. Now, with each breath, pull some of that group heart-energy back across into your own heart space. You now feel and sense the connection between you at this most basic level.

As you sense the connection between yourself and your group, say these words in your heart: We are one. We support one another as best we can. We connect through Love.

Use this meditation daily, especially if you are feeling conflict with your group, or conflict within it.

Other things to watch for this month: 

• A sense of ennui, especially in the middle of the month. Having had the initial rush of connection where things begin to make sense on a large-scale basis, you find yourself wishing for repeated "high" experiences. Distraction and ennui results when you find you are unable to duplicate that high.
• Feeling disconnected from others, especially on a universal basis – this especially occurring toward the end of the month. This is necessary as you begin to again separate and move away for a time from the connectedness and again into a space of separation. While this is part of the human experience, having sensed a connection already on a deep and intrinsic level, you may find the shift to separation disquieting.
• Increased desire to connect in a tangible way to nature – gardening, hikes, beach time – becoming almost desperate by the 29^th or so if not sated before then with plenty of outdoor connection time. This is to assuage the increasing sense of separation with your fellow beings and should be honored if you wish to keep a sense of equilibrium.

Practices to engage in this month: 

• If you haven’t been consciously and regularly finding connection to nature, this is the time to begin. Take walks; meditate on a flower; take up gardening; enjoy the fruits of your own garden harvest; commune with animals; be with others or alone in nature.
• Journaling your emotional journey. By taking pen to paper with intention of chronicling your inner journey, you open yourself that much wider to the depths of your experience.
• Look for signs and omens. This could be the ever-popular 11:11, nature signs, shapes or forms that you notice, or anything that seems to speak to you with some intention and meaning. You need not know what the message is, but making yourself open to there being a message at all will create a sense of comfort that will be useful to you in the days ahead.

As you move through August, feeling your own momentum gathering, pay attention to that which you desire to create. By being open to the energies around you and engaging in your own inner work, you make yourself available to the ongoing evolution of the species.

It was a huge pleasure speaking on July 15 with host Jennifer Hillman on Abstract Illusions Radio — AIR — on BBSRadio, and I'm pleased to be able to share the archived show from July 15, 2010 with you in its entirety. Enjoy!

Click Here to Download or Subscribe and download via iTunes

Thanks to BBSRadio and all the listeners! I'm looking forward to returning.

I am like you.

Like you, I get caught up in familiar patterns and dynamics. Like you, I feel pain at times that feels unsurmountable. Like you, I resist the pain and wish it to go away. Like you, I sometimes become immersed in the frailties and illusions of being a human being on this Earth.

The past few days have been difficult for me. I am hoping that yours have been better — because, truly, what I have felt these past few days is a disintegration of Self and that always makes me feel off balance and insecure — but I have to believe I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only one with these feelings. That is not to say I wish discomfort and pain upon anyone or wish to belittle my experience by forcing a joining upon anyone else, but I know that my feelings are universal.

We all feel.

In the past few days, I've been exploring a number of concepts.

These past few weeks have been amazing, haven't they? I've ridden the heights and plumbed the depths in that time. I felt a bit of the Dark Night of the Soul concept but then moved into expansive energy that provided me with insight into the exciting new directions I am headed personally and professionally. (More about that to come!)

Last weekend Matthew and I drove down to Portland and had an amazing time doing a group channeling and some powerful personal sessions. A theme emerged, and I'll be talking about it tonight on the radio — I'm a guest again tonight at 9pm PDT at Abstract Illusions Radio at BBSRadio with Jennifer Hillman. Matthew will be joining me this time as well to talk about the importance of humor, a subject very close to his heart. I'll write more about this soon but it became very clear to me that the way I approach what I do and how I live my life is very connected to the direction we are headed socially and culturally. I am calling it "Do What You Are vs. You Are What You Do," and I'm excited to see how quickly people intrinsically understand this concept. If you can join us tonight, wonderful! The show will be archived for later listening and download and I'll post a link when it becomes available if you can't listen in tonight.

All those thoughts about doing what you ARE, and the sense of community that arises when you realize that all that you do is an extension of you, led me to embracing this weekend's global Conscious Convergence collaboration. It's focusing on events taking place around the world this weekend, July 17-18 2010, but I think this speaks to something we all are craving and needing in our lives — true connection.

We spoke last month about a divergence in energy — internal vs. external — which continues on in the present month, deepening and becoming more plainly evident.

Last September there was a significant nexus or choice point made which resulted in some noticeable change for many of you. Many people found themselves feeling more fully aware of their paths, or more fully aware of the interconnection that exists between all life. It is not inaccurate to state that many people interpreted that nexus energy as the creation of an “us vs. them” or “happy” world vs. a “sad” one, because, in some ways, that has indeed been what has been created and is now resulting in the continuing divergence we see at present.

We wish to comment on the recent oil spill occurring in the Gulf of Mexico. At the risk of sounding overly simplistic or obvious, the fallout and end result of this spill is anticipated to be both more far-reaching than presently imagined and unclear as to scope for many years to come. Both the magnitude of this spill and the ongoing responses and effects are presently underestimated by the majority of the scientific community. This is, in a way, understandable, as the event is unprecedented in human history — previous spills did not occur in heavily populated areas, and the Gulf is a central oceanic pivot point, essentially affecting a vastly larger section of the planet’s total oceans than the area of the Gulf itself. But this underestimation is also naïve and reflects a misperception regarding the ocean’s existence as a single, united entity.

In other words, what affects one part of the ocean on one part of the planet ultimately has an effect on the rest of the ocean and as a result, the entire planet. This is a concept that will be coming to light over the next 50 years or so as effects of the spill are parsed, measured, and recorded.

One result of the spill, therefore, at least in the not-too-distant future, will likely be scientific acknowledgement that there is really only a single ecosystem on the planet; that all life is connected, intertwined, and interdependent.

I've been meaning to write about my tai chi discovery for a while, but this week turned into summer here (read: above 60 degrees) and I've been distracted by 10pm sunsets and the sunny bench across the street that beckons to me from my window.

I've always been right-handed and right-footed, as far as I know. Left-right dominance is an interesting thing to see develop in a person. I know we equate "handedness" with brain hemisphere dominance, but I have to think it's more complicated than that. After all, we are more than just "analytical" (left-brained) or "creative" (right-brained).

For fun, have a look at this video and see which direction the dancer spins. I figured out how to make her change direction; can you?

For an even more interesting exploration of the brain and how it behaves, take a look at Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's TED Talk from a few years ago. She describes what happened to her awareness when she experienced a stroke.

[This is a continuation of the series expanding the notion of the "Chief Negative Feature," ("Obstacle") in the Michael Teachings which are our fundamental blocks to perception and access to the inner being. You can see previous channelings on chief features in the articles on Arrogance, Self Destruction, Martyrdom and Greed]

We continue our expansion of our perceptions about the main filter in the personality's awareness, which has been called the "Chief Negative Feature."

Chief Negative Features (or "Obstacles"), without exception, are based on a perception of separation. You perceive that there is something that you are not: this could manifest as pain, fear, or a feeling of lack. This perception is denied, and the "waste product" of that denial ferments with further denials, not only of the original perception, but of all the very natural effects of what that denial produced. A structure of protection is built to protect against your own very natural perception.

Impatience is an action-oriented blocking of an inner experience. It is a defense against the present moment. There is always something within that is desired to be avoided, such as feelings within the body or emotions, especially those relating to long-held patterns. This blocked energy becomes such a nemesis that it will often seem akin to a nebulous fanged monster that is death itself to meet face-to-face. In order to defend against it, Impatience will keep one busy, tense, or creating reactions in others in such a way that protects the Impatient from having to feel the inner experience. An activity is created to fill the awareness so that the inner experience doesn't need to be touched upon.

Impatience is a defense against the present moment.

It is within the present moment that the reality of being in a body is processed. It is within the present moment that heart-based connections with others are established and sustained. It is within the present moment that emotions are felt and inner desires brought to conscious awareness. You can see, therefore, the limitations that Impatience can create in a life: such a person may be successful, productive, and even admired, but they will be disconnected from many inner resources. In addition, the effort used to sustain Impatience causes an incredible strain both on the body and the psyche. In some cases, this strain may result in breakdown of the body or manifest in the brain as stress-related or chronic fatigue-like symptoms.

The contracted (blocked) expression of the energy Impatience has been channeled before as intolerance. Impatience is the most outward (cardinal) focused chief negative feature, and can result in blaming others, or some form of external reactivity (such as judgments) that defend against an internal experience. This intolerance can also manifest in more subtle forms, such as an absolute need to be productive and efficient. This need goes well beyond an appreciation for efficiency, but becomes a mantra used inexorably as a way of removing the spaciousness that would invite inner experiences.

Because in western society the least appreciated Center is the Emotional Center (thoughts and actions are culturally more valued), the Impatient tend to fixate on avoiding emotions. Often, the person in Impatience will decide they are not feeling what they are feeling and create a cause of action — either in thought, action, or focus — based on how they are not feeling what they are truly feeling. This action could be a mental justification or even a behavior that incites other feelings within the person or within those around them. It tends to create a domino effect, creating reverberations that reflect back the chaos born out of staving off the present moment. The Impatient create new experiences so they they will never have to experience the present moment.  

Impatience in Society

Of all the chief features, Impatience is the most ingrained in Western culture. It is easier to notice when someone is putting on an arrogant mask, for example, or being a martyr in their own life than when they block inner experiences via outer ones with Impatience. Impatience, because it can lead to dynamic productivity, can be highly valued in the workplace. This aids in not noticing the subtle effects on the body and the psyche.

Do you notice Impatience when there is a compulsion to turn on the TV and fill your experience with lifeless programs? Do you notice impatience when driving in traffic, especially when confronted with someone who is not rushing? Do you notice how multitasking and over-scheduling is the norm but that almost everyone has 'no time'? Do you notice how awkward it is when there is a silence in a group that seems pregnant with possibility and hurry to fill the silence with something — anything — just so you don't feel the emptiness?

Impatience has been described as a fear of missing out, but we see that as incomplete. What is beneath the feeling of missing something, and therefore attempting to manipulate time so as to ensure nothing is missed? Within Impatience is a sense of inner emptiness created by the desire to distance oneself from what is inside. Impatience is fed also by the present-day consumerist culture becoming so prevalent worldwide now; implied within that culture is always the promise of more — more happiness, more wholeness, more "stuff." If only I had a big house I would feel complete. Or a car. Or a baby. Or whiter teeth, better meditation, a fulfilling relationship, the "right" job. This is always, without exception, an expression of looking outward in order to gain the feeling of completeness within. But it completely bypasses the easiest way toward that sense of wholeness that is so coveted — going within. Because to go within would be to touch the fanged monster.

The sense that is common within Impatience of looking toward more has some similarities to the Chief Negative Feature of Greed. Both Chief Features are cardinal, which means acting externally to stave off inner chaos. In Greed, one tries to fill the inner emptiness, whereas in Impatience one tries to distract from it. There is emptiness within each but with a different quality: In Greed, the emptiness is often more apparent to others because they tend to be directly asked to fill it. In Impatience, there tends to be more of a complete cutoff from awareness; others feel the force of repulsion from that emptiness, but rarely get a glimpse into it because they are constantly being directed away from it.

First-world culture is driven with "filling up" the emptiness caused by avoiding inner experiences. This is one reason there has been a resurgence in present-moment teachers such as Eckhart Tolle and Adyashanti.

Childhood Origins

Impatience develops within the child when the following conditions are met:

Effects Upon Others

Impatience can be a difficult energy to be around. It is a dynamic, moving energy, and as such tends to be polarizing. Some people will be energized by this and feel spurred to increase their pace or output, but these people are in the minority. Largely, this is an abrasive energy, primarily because of the sense of inner tension that comes along with it. People in Impatience are not comfortable either with themselves or with their environment. They can make poor mates. The stereotypical person in Impatience will make hasty, poorly thought out decisions. While this attribute can ruffle enough feathers, it is more the feeling of extreme inner discomfort that creates difficulties with others. Other people will feel this energy and feel compelled to respond to it in some way, yet the person in Impatience is rarely assuaged. It is rare that the underlying source of the tension is ever seen, let alone felt or addressed.

Society regards Impatience positively when it is applied in a dynamic way (explorers, athletes, or politicians), but quite negatively when the sense of inner tension can't be dispelled (that jerk behind you in line). Social pressure to conform to the chaotic environment that is part and parcel of the physical plane is, at times, crushing for the person choosing Impatience. Environments that have the energy of Impatience strongly ingrained, such as driving a car in heavy traffic, will magnify the underlying tension. This can be both painful and create an addictive rush of energy — it is the perfect environment to scream out all the frustrations and intolerance that have been building for a lifetime.

Effects Upon the Self

The effects of Impatience are many. Beyond potential physical manifestations of chronic anxiety, there are other, more subtle effects upon the inner self. The Self will likely suffer a crisis of confidence when choosing this energy. Without being open to present moment experiences, it becomes more difficult to trust inner guidance or other subtle signals. The person in Impatience is forever second-guessing everything about their environment just to keep up with the demands of time and the attempt to create order.

Impatience is experienced on a variety of levels within the Self. Depending on one's centering (the intellectual center, emotional center, or moving center) the effects can vary. Intellectually oriented individuals tend to feel the highest amount of tension because they are responding to an inner stimuli but lacking good access to intuition, can't "think their way through" the disquiet and discomfort and instead tend to lash out in other ways at unpredictable intervals. The emotionally centered individual will likely become overwhelmed by a variety of emotions and will attempt to sort them out, but Impatience will get in the way and cause an overload. The moving centered person will feel compelled to use that tension to create actual tangible movement, which can help dispel the inner tension.

Practicing non-avoidance is a creative endeavor. While some may be drawn to meditative activities such as monkhood and Vipassana meditation, it is up to each individual's deepest self-honesty to determine what is avoidance and what is not. We know of several monks who have meditated for years in monasteries who are deeply in the throes of Impatience; while they have trained themselves to sit still for hours each day, they are greatly intolerant of the outside world and any "distractions" from their path — which is to say, anything that creates emotions they would rather not touch. On the other hand, we have seen many active individuals who use silent meditation as a means of sitting with themselves, using it to become friends with what they have avoided for much of their lives. Becoming friends with all of your Selves has an extremely powerful ripple effect upon those around you.

Nor is silent meditation the only solution. The key is non-avoidance, and this can be reached through very active means. Impatience, we again remind you, is a dynamic energy, and this can be used for its own healing. Often activities are chosen based on the centering and role of the person with Impatience. For all centering, we often recommend forms of movement that are oriented to the individual; slow, methodical movement is likely excruciating to the person with Impatience! Instead, we recommend explosive movements, such as in kickboxing, or rhythmic movements that involve large muscle groups and result in actual physical transportation through space, such as kayaking or bicycling. Engaging in these activities regularly, especially while in a meditative space, can help decrease the buildup of tension. Expressive personalities often use Impatience for artistic sense in dance, clowning, comedy, or acting. The key is using it to "burst out" aspects of your Selves that you have in the past avoided, and using it for art or laughter in such a way which furthers acceptance. A clown might exaggerate the jitters and tension in his body to the point of silliness while at the same time, exploring his own acceptance of his body as it is right now. Action oriented personalities may use movement-based martial arts such as Aikido, or Tai Chi and qigong if this is bearable to the Impatience. Kirtan (devotional singing or chant) can be used to wonderful effect for emotional or inspirational personalities, so long as the desire is to flow into emotion instead of away from certain other emotions.

Conclusion

When looking at Chief Features — and indeed, looking at fears — it is incredibly healing to do so with an attitude of deep appreciation. This is your creation. This is your vehicle to truly learn more of yourself and the possibilities you can choose. The physical plane is one in which you choose limitations in order to truly learn what your powers of choice and creation are. The blocks you have chosen are your means to reach beyond your previous limitations, much like weights you may lift in a gym to gain strength. By loving your choice in limiting yourself, you open up to seeing how truly unlimited you are. You may be aware of a limited perception, but who you are contains all the vastness that is within us too. Indeed, looking within, there is no separation between us.

Last week I resumed my tai chi practice. I was a little nervous about it, thinking that my practice was still new enough that in more than a month away all the elements to the long form I do would drain away and I’d have to relearn everything again, but no. There it was, stored within my body, waiting. I readied myself, dropped my awareness into my dantian, and began. It all flowed from there.

Surely there’s a metaphor in there somewhere, right? Trusting the body — the inner awareness — to hold a space even when we feel we’re unable.

Healing has been a long road, a road I’m still on. I am impatient when it comes to things like this. My way in the past has always been to push. Push through the pain. Push myself into doing and being, even though my body or heart was weary. I am finding I don’t want to push any longer. I can allow things to simply Be.

It was a huge pleasure speaking last week with host Jennifer Hillman on Abstract Illusions Radio — AIR — last week on BBSRadio, and I'm pleased to be able to share the archived show from May 27 2010 with you in its entirety. Enjoy!

Click Here to Download or Subscribe and download via iTunes

Thanks to BBSRadio and all the listeners! I'm looking forward to returning.

[channeled June 1, 2010]

June is a month of contrasts.

For many of you it will be a rest month, time to regenerate, go within, and recreate the dynamism within you for the next external period to come. For you, this is an inward time, with the primary focus being on what is going on internally.

For others it will be a restless time, a month of spiky energy and high contrast, a time of feeling on the edge, with an accompanying uneasiness of spirit, mind, and even physical being. For you, this is an outward time, with the focus being on externals.

In this time of contrast, it is ever more important to remember where you are going, and what is coming next, while attending most of all to the present moment.

The primary difference among you will be of what it is you are embracing about yourself and your path. Neither path — the inward or the outward — is preferable to the other, although one may feel more innately "you" than the other. If in the first half of the year your focus was external, look now for a shift that will create balance overall within the year; in other words, look now to flip into the other portion of the cycle. If, again, in the first half of your year you were primarily focused on things external to yourself, looking inward now will help you regain a sense of balance to carry you through the year. The important thing is that you embrace this contrast and allow it to carry you into what comes next.

June is a fulcrum month within the calendar year. Within the space of this month, there is much underlying decision-making, and many of you are feeling it. Should I leave my job and follow my dream? Should I make a change in my relationship, because, I am feeling uncontented? Should I start that new project I’ve been thinking about/talking about for months now? If ever there was the perfect time for a new beginning, this month is it. Things begun this month have a good chance of finishing, and creating within that new beginning the space and path that the rest of the year will follow, with the years to come piled on afterward. Beginnings look especially auspicious this month, so we would encourage you to think about your life in those terms, whether you are in the inward phase of this energy or the outward phase.

Signs that you are in the flow of June’s energy

• Feeling as if time is speeding up and you are riding the crest of a wave
• Making new connections with others
• Feelings of synchronicity
• Omens and signs, like seeing repeated numbers on a daily basis

How to get into June’s energy flow

Breathing. Deep breathing is especially important this month. The respiration of the planet is changing, as is the pulse. Recalibrating yourself with the breath of the Earth will help you feel in the flow of the energy around you. Every time you feel out of step, bring yourself to meditation and then breathe in time to an inner metronome. This may be slightly slower or faster than you are accustomed to, so give yourself time to adjust. When the timing is right, you will feel lighter physically, as if the weight of gravity has lifted slightly.

Movement. We often recommend energy movement like tai chi, yoga and qigong. They connect you to a foundation that includes the planet upon which you live. This month you’ll want to begin or continue your practice, or try simply moving slowly and gracefully in a way that seems to bring energy up through your feet and legs and moves it upward and around your body. Paying attention to your hands can help with this. Imagine that they hold a ball of energy and move this around your body with slow graceful movements.

Dreamwork. June’s dream activity will be on the increase, as many of you are preparing for deeper spiritual engagement. Dreams can be a sign of astral activity or can be your guides and higher self, speaking directly to you. Pay attention to the feelings left as residual from your dreams. Begin a dream journal to chronicle the changes over time with your conscious connection to the dream world. If you haven’t already, try lucid dreaming.

Global change in June

A new emphasis worldwide on things that connect people. While the Haiti earthquake united people in a way that was unprecedented, we see the beginnings of worldwide events that have a similar harmonizing effect that will likely be less catastrophic in nature. These are things like dance contest winners, book or film phenomena, sports figures, and human-interest stories that touch people on a heart level.

Advancements in architecture. People are reshaping living spaces and how they associate with one another on a communal basis, which is played out through the structures within which they live.

Changes in animal rights. As you begin to re-recognize the connection among all living beings, this becomes evident in new laws and other discernible change in the treatment overall of animals.

Personal change in June

Again, this is a good time for beginnings as mentioned above. Take care with what you begin this month, as it will leave a trail for you to follow for the rest of the year. Again, as fulcrum of the year, this month is pivotal and crucial in forming want is coming next. If you feel fear or anxiety about this, try some of the above exercises to help you feel in the flow of this powerful energy. Remember though that it is a month of contrasts as well, and you may feel either or both of the ways previously described: you may experience this energy as either inward or outward, or a sometimes crazy-seeming combination of both. Gain, it is helpful to ground yourself into some of the activities mentioned above, as well as to connect more firmly to the community around you. This connection to others will play an increasingly important role as time goes on, so beginning activities that take you within the realm of others who you feel are like-minded is especially helpful this month.

When we mentioned beginnings, it is useful to remember that these can also be endings at the same time. New dream jobs mean the relinquishment of the old one. New relationships mean transition away from the comfortable and familiar. New projects can feel overwhelming and frightening. Allow yourself to move through the grieving process of whatever it is you are letting go of this month, and truly honor that letting-go by immersing yourself in it.

Other things to look for in June:

• Changes in appearance. This may be the time for a hair cut or wardrobe style change. Think also about your body and especially about the image you present to the world around you. What is internal is becoming external — what do people see about you? Is there anything you wish to change about this? Step into this month’s energy and bring more of you out to play, even the parts you think others may not like. If you are confident about yourself, others will accept you.
• Travel. You may be feeling as if you wish to “get away”, and this can be helpful. Remember that wherever you go, you take yourself with you. Reviewing yourself on an inner level can be easier in an unfamiliar atmosphere, but travel also lends itself to denial. Invite awareness as to where you are with this.
• Injury and illness. Many of you will be granting yourselves time and space to do that looking-inward from a space of slowness and healing. This is not a bad thing and can invite much self-awareness. Be sure to give yourself ample time and space to complete the process.
• Connections. Again, interpersonal connections are beginning to become paramount. Expect serendipitous meetings and connections with new people beginning this month, who will soon begin to reshape the landscape of who you spend your time with. Expect to spend some time thinking seriously about the people in your life and what energies you wish to carry with you into the future you are creating.

Again, the easiest way to ride the waves of June’s energy is to simply relax and allow things to occur as they will. Beginning a practice of mindfulness can help with this process. Meditation also supports a balanced way of looking at things. Allow this month of contrasts to be your friend, your ally in the Self you are allowing to unfold as well as the life you are creating now.

[Blog (Non-channeled) May 2010]

I’m a big proponent of the Slow Food movement, which encourages mindfulness in eating. According to Wikipedia, the Slow Food movement “strives to preserve traditional and regional cuisine and promotes farming of plants, seeds and livestock characteristics of the local ecosystem.” This is all about making conscious choices in food while providing an avenue to truly connect to the natural world around us and bringing that world inward into our bodies with the foods we consume.

It struck me, through my recent feelings of discouragement with my personal healing, that there is something to be learned from slow healing as well.

I’ve mostly felt good with my process. Joyful. But the other night someone asked me, “Aren’t you frustrated about not being able to get out much and get around?”

I'll be appearing on the radio Thursday, May 27 2010 at 9:00 pm Pacific time, on Abstract Illusion Radio on BBS Radio with host Jennifer Hillman. I'm really excited about the appearance, as I'll be talking and channeling about all the huge energetic changes that have been happening lately.

• planetary vibration changes
• things you can do to move through these shifting times
• how to engage further
• your next steps

So many people are affected by the changes we've been undergoing lately — if you have been also, please come and listen! Jennifer will be opening the lines for questions for Polaris, so bring your burning questions. I know it will be a wonderful and thought-provoking show. Abstract Illusions Radio explores and exposes the different aspects of the human experience through the healing arts and self-expression, which is totally up my alley and something I wholeheartedly support.

Again, THIS Thursday, May 27, at 9pm Pacific on Abstract Illusion Radio on BBS Radio. Hope to see you there!

[Blog (Non-channeled)  May 2010]

Resistance is an invitation to look further. Deeper.

I know this. I have told many people this. I have channeled it. But still I resist.

What’s in it for me? The other day I wrote about happy pain and about how I plan to use pain as an invitation to connect more deeply with my body. Since then, I’ve used this idea as a point of reference in meditation and in shamanic journey. But honestly? There have been no deep revelations yet. I still feel pain. I still expect not to. I still feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I’m not exactly spending my days wringing my hands over this, and I know that things will continue to move and flow because that’s how life is, but at the same time I feel I’m just at the edge of a new level of understanding and awareness.