** This thread discusses the Content article: The Chief Feature of Self-Destruction **

My father ended his life over 35 years ago. I believe Self Destruction was his major Chief Feature. Years later he communicated a very important message to me which changed my life. He also commented that he had to die again. I assume this meant his second death was a Karmic result of his suicide.
I wonder, does he still need to choose this Chief Feature until he can overcome it? Would you say this is how we all journey through this human experience? Choosing and overcoming all 7 Features until we can reach that state of neutrality with Fear?

Gentlefire wrote:
** This thread discusses the Content article: The Chief Feature of Self-Destruction **

My father ended his life over 35 years ago. I believe Self Destruction was his major Chief Feature. Years later he communicated a very important message to me which changed my life. He also commented that he had to die again. I assume this meant his second death was a Karmic result of his suicide.
I wonder, does he still need to choose this Chief Feature until he can overcome it? Would you say this is how we all journey through this human experience? Choosing and overcoming all 7 Features until we can reach that state of neutrality with Fear?

There's a lot of wisdom in that - that the goal is not to "overcome" fear, but to reach a state of neutrality. I like that, so thank you!

I don't think there's any needs in it though. Chief features aren't chosen pre-incarnationally, but of course essence can see likely choices of them given the childhood environment.

Chief features are lessons, not just blocks. Self destruction deals with the lessons of being *all* of your self, of learning to see the beauty in all of you, in that of surrender to that which is terrifying. It's more terrifying surrendering to what seems like "inner demons" than it is to jump out of an airplane.

I think people tend to think this is the worst chief feature because it can lead to suicide more than other ones. (other chief features can lead to suicide too). But suicide can be an act of love as well. So I know your dad is doing just fine now.

My curiousity is sparked by my own experience. My major CF is self deprication. Some years ago I was given a reading from Jose Stevens. In answer to my questions he channelled information to me about my personal struggle with this feature. I had spent a large number of lives choosing self dep and this was the one where I finally understood my need to love and to be loved unconditionally. Somehow, I don,t believe I will need to journey the self depricating road any further. I am unclear if all these lifetimes were consecutive. Actually I doubt it but they were close enough together for me to raise the question about the normal number of lifetimes we spend on each chief feature before we feel comfortable enough to move on. Thank you for your response. Peace & Love, Gentlefire

I can't really conceive that I'm going to be totally done with Chief Features at this stage, especially considering what a learning device they are. I really like thinking of them not as an evil thing, but a gift. Keep in mind that even transcendental souls have maya, and therefore a chief feature.

I think growing is like a spiral: we examine issues relating to self-love at one level, from what we know of who we are. But then we go around the spiral again, finding out more of who we are, and then learn to love that expanded notion of Self. So there is always something more to learn, because there is always more of who we are.

I guess I've also encountered some spiritualized arrogance of "hey, I'm a really old soul, I'm really above all that and have conquered all my fears". As I look into it, it seems fear is always there on this physical plane, at least as far as I can predict. There's no conquering, there's only loving and accepting. I really like Thich Naht Hahn for how he works with strong fears and emotions.

WOW, I can only show my appreciation to Matthew, more than two years I have been looking for an answer of my life through metaphysical teachings, and try to "control" myself.

Unfortunately, my chart only said "Arrogance", and these last months I've been hitting really hard my head because I finally had hit one root of Self-Destruction but I didn't know it (I called it Martyrdom many times). Yes, it is many times easier to think that suicide is a better option than doing this or that...

I think I have "played with myself" for a while and that's how you lose much of the fear. But still there's much of it inside!!!

Unfortunately, trying "to heal" and trying to find the roots has led me an unproductive life in the terms of social and work behaviors.

Maybe even this CF may have been coming from previous lifetimes as I sense it too strong to be from this one!!! but it could happen that it was set in this one only, too.

I suppose there is one song out there that spots pretty much this behavior.

Here is the lyrics, find the song on Jango.com, for example

LENKA - THE SHOW

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show"

MarioN wrote:
Unfortunately, my chart only said "Arrogance", and these last months I've been hitting really hard my head because I finally had hit one root of Self-Destruction but I didn't know it (I called it Martyrdom many times). Yes, it is many times easier to think that suicide is a better option than doing this or that....

I think there's a lot of reluctance to say "Self Destruction", because it sounds so awful. It gives the image of someone who's going to be addicted to drugs and die early, someone who is going to cause nothing but pain for those around them. There's a few overleaves that Michael Students - especially ones who like to maintain a 'good' image - are reluctant to own because they don't feel good or don't have a good rap.

But if 60% of people have this energy to some degree, even if it's not the primary or secondary, that gives an indication that it's just plain normal. Not something to beat yourself up about - just something to observe, work with, and even appreciate.

Nice lyrics!

I have caused pain to a few people from my family due to this CF. I don't think it's as mild as it sounds for me.

Since I can recall -from 17 and up- I always had to deal with something that is very likely to be called Self-Destruction in Michael terms.

So, I don't see how "Arrogance" might be my main issue when it's Self-Destruction that is firing that Arrogance or even any other CF I may have manifested so far!!!

Hi dear Michael,Karen,Polaris and all beloved ones,
I read this channel on snoedel.puntl and for me it was like the master or the answer that I was waiting for a very long time finally came.By the time I finished to read all I was so in peace with myself,finally getting the permission to be who I am.I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease 12 years ago, and I don't have all the words to describe the hell I went through.
Of course that all those years I read a lot,trying to find out the path to healing.Now I know that all the messages were not in a soul language that I could understand.Michael message was not very long,nor very complicated,was simple like I am and somehow opened my eyes.The body response was also almost instant, with a great relief that has nothing to do with the medication I take.
Is been a while that the talking and writting became a bit difficult to me,not because my native language but because I find the words empty of the real content.
So I want to express to you all my state of round,gratitude and love for the gift I received here.

That's so lovely; thanks for sharing your experience! Remember that you are a big part of the equation in a any healing. All of us are. When we choose to open ourselves to healing experiences and shifts in our lives, we find ways to create them. I am honored that you found our messages helpful!

Karen recently channeled more information on Self Destruction. After doing Arrogance, she wanted to make sure the first one was as complete.

This new channeling is:


Self Destruction is often used as an avenue or a bridge to other perceptions of reality. Since it is very much about a control of space, there is sensed within this energy the ability to transcend space. This is not usually sensed as a benefit; instead this often causes fears and anxieties creating the need and desire to control space. When you sense, for instance, that reality is not as you perceive and that a physical wall that your eyes tell you is solid is really permeable, that creates a very unsettling feeling. Therefore one alternative exploration of Self Destruction is very much about an exploration of alternate realities.

A more usual exploration of Self Destruction results in a more tightly controlled manipulation of the space around. Obsessive Compulsive Disorders are a good example of this: straightening pictures, keeping the self clean in an obsessive way.

Many in the arts use this energy to allow them to alter their perceptions sufficiently so as to, for instance, paint emotion or to compose music that connects to emotion.

Self Destruction is itself, in essence, a connection to emotion.

It is also often a denial of those same emotions, but it also acts as a connection. So people in the arts - acting, painting, music composition, dance - can and do frequently use the energy of Self Destruction to amplify that connection. However, you see how fine the balance can be at times. Those interested in the expressive arts - not always but frequently - often make choices to allow them to greater access to their emotions, even those that are intellectually centered.. Since Self Destruction itself allows greater access to emotion, this can both aid this and lead to some internal conflict. It allows access to emotions but also incites the desire to control emotions out of fear.

In your distant human past, the social structure was that in which emotions were more valued and utilized. The energy of Self Destruction looked very different at that time. We see a gradual swinging back into a more emotional centered global culture - but this will happen over hundreds of years. You will likely not see it in your lifetime.


The term "Self Destruction" is more the result of what happens when you have that internal conflict. Again, it can also be called Addictive Protection From Self. A better name for the ultimate overall energy in the positive pole might be emotional awareness. It has a lot to do with Self Awareness, but this denotes a greater awareness that that that is limited to Self Destruction, which is awareness with a focus on energy, emotion and protection from them.

Healing Self Destruction

Since Self Destruction itself acts as a bridge to emotions and is an addictive protection from Self, some of the best healing simply involves immersing yourself in this vast ocean of emotion. This can be perceived as being very painful.

We have previously heard an analogy which we find quite apt:

Think about the ocean at night. Allow this awareness to fill your consciousness, so that you see nothing but this vast sea. It is filled with millions of square miles of pure emotion.

It's dark and seems vast when you're standing at the edge. It seems forbidding and mysterious.

Now imagine that instead of looking at it from the shore, the ocean is now your home:

* You live in it as a sea creature.
* You know exactly where to go.
* You feel supported by it at all times.
* You are among community.


You are simply moving yourself along slowly with ease, constantly immersed in this ocean of emotion and supported by it.


Bringing Forth Play

Since, like many energy dynamics, Self Destruction begins in childhood, it is useful to speak to that child within you and to offer a safe place for that child to come out and play.

Truly playful things are activities that engage your memory of your freedom from worry, freedom from pain, and freedom from any sense of heaviness. In other words, these are anything that engage your memory - and you always have this as everyone does - of a sense of perfection, wholeness and lightness. Regularly perform activities that engage that sense within you.

Activities that many people find helpful in this regard are often simple:

* Playing with animals
* Tossing a balloon up into the air and hitting it repeatedly
* Skipping. This is a motor activity that is closest, in some way, with flying, and thus associated with the almost limitless sense of freedom associated with childhood.