[This is from a session specifically asking about the concept of shame, channeled May 2009.]

A new definition of shame

We would define shame thusly:

Shame is the submerging of your own desires and of a good part of your own identity when you are faced with what you perceive as an opposing energetic force coming toward you.

What is different in our perspective from this definition and the one in your dictionary is that we are describing a process. It is a process involving an energetic interaction between you and another, or indeed sometimes between parts of yourselves.  There are corollaries to this:

• This process is in the present moment.  No matter what your past is, any shame you feel is the result of this process happening Now.
  
• You ultimately have the power to choose differently regarding the energy flow of anything you feel shame about.
  

Energy flow associated with shame

We will give a descriptive example which is what could occur when you meet a stranger that seems to generate shame in you: say you meet someone that you haven't met before and you feel a wave of energy that feels to you like it's coming toward you. The feeling of shame is felt when you use that energy coming toward you as a catalyst to submerge your own desires — your own energetic "outwardness" — and instead feel the brunt of the full force of what you are perceiving is coming at you because you no longer have your normal "wall of defenses" around you.

You could also describe it as the creation of an opening within the façade (your identity, or ego) that you normally hold around you. This opening can feel like a sudden torrent and a violation, especially if you are a person who is normally energetically sensitive.

Most of you have at all times something of an energetic façade around you. This is part of your self-image. Its part of your energetic field. This is normal. But when there is a sudden shift in how you maintain that energetic field it often creates eruptions that can move into primal feelings like shame.

Question: How does that relate to what we culturally know as shame?

Let's use an example of a person who has experienced rape.

There is then a huge rip in the normal energetic façade that the person wears.  Something has happened to change the energetic structure that they are normally holding around themselves — because they've had a hugely physical and emotional experience that makes it difficult to maintain that normal energetic façade.  This energetic rip, or hole, can last for some time, especially as there is generally a lack of awareness that such rips can exist.

And so the creation of shame occurs — because with that rip existing, any energy that is perceived as coming toward that person will be then perceived as a reenactment of that initial feeling of violation.  Perhaps in the case of rape that hole is in the area of the second chakra. This hole comes and goes over time, but every time it's open a little bit in the face of an energetic onslaught, the person is reminded a little bit of that rape experience yet again. Then that hole rips wide open again, all the energy comes in, and it's experienced again as a feeling of shame.

Question: You've described it as an openness to energy, a hole, which doesn't necessarily sound awful, but the experience of it can be. It can be overwhelming.

That is correct. It depends upon the person. There are people who feel relatively little shame about anything. And that's simply how they are, how they chose to perceive energetic influences — their own and those belonging to other people.

In other words, people who are not particularly energetically sensitive will in general feel less shame than people who tend to be more energetically sensitive.

Before we get into individual experiences too deeply we want to talk a little bit about the social effects of shame. There is a cultural energetic façade that each of you wears in addition to your personal one.

You all know instinctively, energetically and through what you get from others (socially in terms of your upbringing, cultural imprinting, etc.) that you wear collectively this additional energetic façade. When there are really big disruptions in that energetic aura that all of you are engaged in together when it has something to do with a big cultural "no-no," then there will be feelings of shame more frequently associated with smaller incidents that run along the same lines. 

There is shame in your culture regarding the body: showing yourself naked is in general regarded as shameful.  Shame surrounding anger in woman exists as well.  Anything that's not considered culturally acceptable within a certain spectrum tends to elicit shame, especially for people who are more energetically sensitive and feel the energy of others more acutely than those who are less energetically sensitive.

Going back to the rape example: if you live in a culture where there is typically shame experienced over the experience of rape then experiencing that shame on an individual basis is more likely to occur than if you lived in a culture where there was no shame attached to the experience of rape.  The hole in the cultural energetic façade makes it easier to create a hole in your personal energetic façade.

Healing shame

Let's say that you are a person who experiences shame on a frequent basis because of repeated feelings of emotional onslaught and violation.

The question brought to us is "how to heal individual shame?"

We will work on this in two ways. There's how to heal a group-level collective shame that you experience on an individual basis, but as part of a group mindset.  There is also how to heal individual shame that is created on an individual basis, even if it taps into something that's a larger group collective type of shame.

Using our rape example again, it is possible to strengthen the energetic field on a consistent basis so that you no longer experience what you perceive of as a hole in that field when you feel someone's energy that reminds you of that rape experience. This can be done on a highly individual basis, but in general the easiest way to heal this quickly and not make a lifetime study of it would be this:

When you are faced with the beginnings of that feeling of shame, immediately focus on that area in your body where you feel the hole is, and begin to pour as much energy of You outward from there as you can.

Simply concentrate on that area and imagine that you have unlimited strength, power and energy within you and that you are allowing it to move outward from you from that point. You are taking up space.

This is not a defense — it is a wholeness.

This runs counter to your natural tendency, which would be to withdraw. It may be difficult, especially the first few times in trying this. But in effect what you will do is prevent any other energy from entering what you think of as your sphere by maintaining a sense of wholeness and completeness within yourself.

After a while you can train yourself to do this automatically so that you need not think about it on a conscious basis.

This is the easiest and quickest way. That is not in any way suggesting that it's going to be easy for everyone. (a gentle smile)  Remember that on an intellectual basis you can talk yourself out of almost anything that you're feeling and perceiving.  It will take trust in your intuition, your energetic perceptions, and your power to move and create energy.

Healing Cultural Shame

We will move on to healing bigger shame — the cultural type of shame. This tends to be a little more complicated, because you're experiencing it on an individual basis and  everyone's experience is highly individualized.

In general, the best way to heal your experience of collective shame is this: when you begin to feel those sensations that you connect to the feeling of shame, imagine yourself being a little bit distanced from the overall energetic structure of the social and cultural group you're a part of.  Know that that's "them" — they can have that feeling over there, but you are over here feeling whole and complete in your own energetic structure.

Again, the way we describe this is very simple. It's not as simple when you're faced with all the complex feelings that arise when you're feeling a feeling like shame which is so intangible and amorphous. It's not something that you can pick up from a table and hold in your hand. It's not even necessarily something that you can always identify as a feeling within your body!

So if you are capable of doing that and saying "this physical sensation I'm having now is what I associate with shame" then that is a huge step forward. You need not necessarily experience that and have that association for our suggestions to have some influence on how you end up experiencing shame for your life.

Question: Both of those are individual exercises. What are some suggestions when there's a couple or a very small intimate group that trusts each other?  Groups really help me.

If you have one other person who can work with you, one helpful exercise is to have one of you practice being the person feeling shame and other practice being the "energetically assaulting person".  Practice moving your energy back and forth in both of these roles as follows:

Stand facing one another about 6 feet apart — no closer. Don't look into one another's eyes — concentrate on a spot in the center of one another's chests.

One of you takes a step back and then takes a sudden step forward with the idea of pushing their energy into the other person. That other person is going to be the one who's normally experiencing that kind of thing as shame.

What the "shameful" person does is to concentrate on the part of their body that they associate with the hole in their energetic field.  They simply concentrate on that area, filling up the energy within their energetic field and moving it out through that point — and seeing what develops.

In a slightly larger group situation, from 4 to 8 people, you can again role-play where one of you is singling himself out from the group consciousness. The rest of the group would be talking about an issue that all of you tend to feel some shame over — whether it is the bad state of your political system or something that we discussed earlier, like public nudity. But all of you need to have some sense of shame over whatever topic that you decide to talk about.

One of you can distance himself somewhat from the rest of the group while the group continues to talk about these shameful things, not really making jokes but just mentioning anecdotal stories that caused a sense of shame. The person who is standing aside somewhat can practice separating his energy from the group. Again, this can take maybe a few minutes for each person. So everyone can have a turn with just a few minutes' worth of experimentation.

The long road of healing

No two paths of healing are the same, but it is true that healing personal shame will have a cumulative positive effect on the cultural shame that exists all around you.  As we see it, it is part of your global and collective path to begin to heal shame on a wide basis.  In time, we foresee that your world will one day look very different regarding the issue of shame, and your personal story today will influence that future yet to be.