[Note that this is a channeling that deals with the chief feature, an aspect of the Michael Teachings Overleaf System.  If you have no background in this, you can still appreciate this by understanding that the term " chief feature" is similar to the word " ego" in a spiritual discussion.  It is also called your "chief stumbling block" or "dragon".  It is like your achilles heel when it comes to access to joy, self awareness, and intimacy.]

At its root, this energetic tendency is based on the separation of Self from self and others by "cutting out" parts of the Self.  As with all chief features, this is done for self-protection.

In some ways, the term "Self Destruction" is not accurate for this chief feature, because it is but one manifestation of this process.  Most chief features were originally named because they were the most negative sounding label for the energy.  This of course can be a barrier to the process of loving the structure.  Perhaps a more neutral nomenclature would be "Addictive Protection from Self".

To illustrate how this process is formed, let us take the example of a child who is placed in a painful situation beyond its control: that of a sexual assault.  This assault, especially in a child who is dependent upon the protection of others and is conceptually unable to process this violence, will often create a wall in the psyche where the experience of this assault is separated from the bulk of the psyche.

This is done, of course, out of love for Self.  However, because of this separation, there is now a part of the core Self of this child that is now perceived as "not Self".  Because of the association of this "not Self" with the magnitude of the painful energy of the assault, it will be associated with pain, hostility, utter danger, and death.  It is defended against.

This process does not have to necessarily begin with what is commonly perceived as traumatic.  Anything that feels painful to a child may precipitate a choice to undergo this "split".  Another example may the the intense, unrelenting desire for love, understanding, and connection from a parent, if there is little understanding of the perceptions of a child in this desire.

The chief feature of Self Destruction is based upon this split, in that all the resulting behaviors are related to the Defense Against Self.

In all people with this energy, even if it is not the primary defense, there will be an aspect of Self which the fragment thinks it cannot bear to touch, look at, or allow energy to permeate the rest of its being.

It is this decision - that there is a part of Self that cannot be touched - that over time results in what has been labeled self-destructive behavior.  Addictions can be formed to escape from Self, whether it be substances, work, relationships, or other forms.  Risk taking can result as a means of distraction from inner calls.  Obsessive compulsiveness can form. Imbalanced self-protection mechanisms can result in pushing much of life away that would remind the fragment of Self.  A dramatization of this last process was in the movie "Safe."

It has been channeled that the underlying fear of this chief feature is "lack of control of space".  We would say this is accurate, so long as there is an understanding of the underlying reason for this fear.  When there is lack of control, then aspects of Self so earnestly defended against may rear their "ugly head".  "Demons" exist that one can never escape from - because they are a part of Self, and so can truly never be escaped.  However, as the fragment will honestly perceive surrendering to these "demons" as literally a fate worse than death (of which death is preferable), the only choice available seems to be to create more and more protective behaviors to keep these demons at bay.  Lack of control - or lack of protection to their perception  - is the worst thing that could happen. 

Those with the chief feature of self-destruction are not at all interested in controlling others.  Only cardinal overleaves will create a strong energy towards this endeavor, and this chief feature is truly an ordinal one.  Self-destructive beings are only interested in controlling their own reactions and experience.  However, when the difficulty of controlling self is perceived, it is sometimes seen as necessary to ask others to limit their behavior, whether covertly or overtly.  It is this that others can perceive as controlling.

Benefits of The Energy called Self Destruction

Self Destruction is often used as an avenue or a bridge to other perceptions of reality. Since it is very much about a control of space, there is sensed within this energy the ability to transcend space. This is not usually sensed as a benefit; instead this often causes fears and anxieties creating the need and desire to control space. When you sense, for instance, that reality is not as you perceive and that a physical wall that your eyes tell you is solid is really permeable, that creates a very unsettling feeling. Therefore one alternative exploration of Self Destruction is very much about an exploration of alternate realities.

A more usual exploration of Self Destruction results in a more tightly controlled manipulation of the space around. Obsessive Compulsive Disorders are a good example of this: straightening pictures, keeping the self clean in an obsessive way.

Many in the arts use this energy to allow them to alter their perceptions sufficiently so as to, for instance, paint emotion or to compose music that connects to emotion.

Self Destruction is itself, in essence, a connection to emotion.

It is also often a denial of those same emotions, but it also acts as a connection. So people in the arts - acting, painting, music composition, dance - can and do frequently use the energy of Self Destruction to amplify that connection. However, you see how fine the balance can be at times. Those interested in the expressive arts - not always but frequently - often make choices to allow them to greater access to their emotions, even those that are intellectually centered.. Since Self Destruction itself allows greater access to emotion, this can both aid this and lead to some internal conflict. It allows access to emotions but also incites the desire to control emotions out of fear.

In your distant human past, the social structure was that in which emotions were more valued and utilized. The energy of Self Destruction looked very different at that time. We see a gradual swinging back into a more emotional centered global culture - but this will happen over hundreds of years. You will likely not see it in your lifetime.


The term "Self Destruction" is more the result of what happens when you have that internal conflict. Again, it can also be called Addictive Protection From Self. A better name for the ultimate overall energy in the positive pole might be emotional awareness. It has a lot to do with Self Awareness, but this denotes a greater awareness that that that is limited to Self Destruction, which is awareness with a focus on energy, emotion and protection from them.

Healing and Lessening the Impact of Self-Destruction

Healing in this situation will always be about seeing the underlying truth: that there is no force in the universe that can separate you from You.   You have been separated from yourself and the reuniting is the healing.

Often in the healing of self-destruction there is a desire to discover the original trauma so as to let it go.  However, the original source is often not always a huge ordeal.   There is a huge amount of energy drawn into the constant action of defending  - so much that it tends to obliterate the heart of the "germ" of how this began to begin with, which makes it difficult, if not nearly impossible for the self-destructive persons who choose this "obstacle" to ever see into what created it.  They can have an inkling, and can perhaps pinpoint times in their life when this began to build, but it is often just a small thing.  If you desire an image, think about a small stone rolling down a mountainside, gathering energy momentum and  material before eventually becoming an avalanche.  The original stone was small.

So when one is looking for something traumatic, hoping to find an answer to resolve finally, it is seldom there.  There could be trauma as part of the source - or it could be "merely" a glance, a statement, or even a feeling.  It could be any of those things.  This can create the perception that this is difficult to fully "heal" from, on top of the perception that there must be something underneath it all that cannot be accepted.

Along the journey, because of the nature of the internal split for many with self-destruction, there can be a huge charge of trapped energy that needs to be released.  Again, this energy is not always about the original source, but more surrounding the war with Self.  This "split" can feel like a bubbling insanity, like Kali incarnate, waiting to destroy worlds.  Incidentally, it is the energy of this chief feature where the personification of Kali was created from.

What is truly healing to those in this chief feature is permission: the permission to express, inhabit, and most of all to BE what has been defended against.  This is not the intellectual permission of the modern counselor, but a literal permission, with space and acceptance, to bring that "insanity" forth: indeed, a true permission to go insane if that is what is needed for healing.  This may seem harmful at first, but we would express this as: the antidote to protection is surrender.  Learning to surrender to Self is the process of reducing this chief feature.

Those with self-destruction may at first be attracted to teachings which offer a "path" to healing, because it is familiar to them: they will possibly interpret the path as instructions to control themselves.   

Healing With Emotions

Since Self Destruction itself acts as a bridge to emotions and is an addictive protection from Self, some of the best healing simply involves immersing yourself in this vast ocean of emotion. This can be perceived as being very painful.


We have previously heard an analogy which we find quite apt:

Think about the ocean at night. Allow this awareness to fill your consciousness, so that you see nothing but this vast sea. It is filled with millions of square miles of pure emotion.

It's dark and seems vast when you're standing at the edge. It seems forbidding and mysterious.

Now imagine that instead of looking at it from the shore, the ocean is now your home:

• You live in it as a sea creature.
• You know exactly where to go.
• You feel supported by it at all times.
• You are among community.

You are simply moving yourself along slowly with ease, constantly immersed in this ocean of emotion and supported by it.

Bringing Forth Play

Since, like many energy dynamics, Self Destruction begins in childhood, it is useful to speak to that child within you and to offer a safe place for that child to come out and play.

Truly playful things are activities that engage your memory of your freedom from worry, freedom from pain, and freedom from any sense of heaviness. In other words, these are anything that engage your memory - and you always have this as everyone does - of a sense of perfection, wholeness and lightness. Regularly perform activities that engage that sense within you.

Activities that many people find helpful in this regard are often simple:

• Playing with animals
• Tossing a balloon up into the air and hitting it repeatedly
• Skipping. This is a motor activity that is closest, in some way, with flying, and thus associated with the almost limitless sense of freedom associated with childhood.

Commentary

More people hold this energy within themselves than has previously been supposed.  You are already aware that the majority of people tend to choose multiple chief features: three, often four.  This is one that is typically chosen as even a fourth chief feature to overlay, flavor and color the energy of the other chief features that are more prominent for the personality.  We would say that 60% of people are using this energy to some degree - perhaps a small degree, but still using it in their lives in terms of coloring everything else in their personalities. 

We would say it is accurate, if somewhat simplified, to say that if there is a significant aspect of the self which is denied and defended against, then the person doing so has this chief feature.  Again, this is why we say the majority of people are working with this energy to some degree.

As an example, say, you are someone who uses arrogance as a shield to protect oneself.  Arrogance comes with its own set of denials, even that there is arrogance and a fear of vulnerability.  It can be exacerbated and strengthened by using the self-destruction energy to overlay with that.  This helps explain why some people have a stronger degree of arrogance that feels more like a wall, and other people simply have a more muted form that is more self-effacing and easier to deal with: that of shyness.   "Only the arrogant are truly shy" was accurate channeling, but it certainly does not accurately describe the experience most people have with the energy of arrogance, because arrogance goes very well with self-destruction.

Conclusion

More than with any other chief feature, there is no definite "path" to healing.  There is only allowing healing.  There will be a tendency for those with this energy to interpret a healing path as a necessity for self-control, and thus reinforce the chief feature in a subtle way.  Healing teachings can be useful, and it is always up to the fragment whether they perceive each "step on the path" as being incremental permission or limitation.

We remind you that there is no reward at the end of any path other than that of the journey itself. On any true path, the journey brings Self and manifestation of essence.  There is only surrender, surrender to who you truly are.

[Again, for more information on the Michael Teachings, see our Michael Teachings Material Page.]