in Social Lounge by | We're Never Done. Never. |
| Written by Karen Murphy |
| Saturday, 02 May 2009 17:31 |
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About three years ago I had a crushing realization. Up to that point, I had been harboring the expectation that someday this would all get easier — that I'd wake up one morning and feel complete and that whatever lifelong issues I had been carrying with me would be dealt with, laid to rest, at peace. I'd be done. Ha. (I think sometimes the universe laughs at us.) It was a huge blow. At first I was totally crushed, and THEN I got angry. How DARE I sign up for this stupid painful life adventure, KNOWING that this would happen and that I would.never.be.done? What had I gotten myself into? Of course I see the humor in this now. Most days.
We really are here to learn through joy. It's a lot like the Buddhist concept of annica, or impermanence. In other words, everything changes. You can look at this several different ways. When I am feeling totally immersed in pain, I remember annica, everything changes, and I know the pain will dissipate. Eventually. When I am feeling an old issue coming on, I remember annica, everything changes, and I know the issue will look and feel different this time, because I am not the same person as I was the last time, not exactly the same, and that my perceptions have changed ever so slightly and so this will be a different experience. That realization allows me to be more open to possibilities rather than fearing what will come. (Buddhism also teaches us to remember annica when we are feeling joy or pleasure, so that we do not develop cravings for that pleasure by remaining attached to the feeling, but I have trouble with this one ... I LIKE pleasure ...) Revisiting the concept that 'we are never done' allows you to start to consider the question, 'where am I going?' which to my mind is a far more interesting question to consider than 'when will I be done?' Thinking about where you are going from here invites to you think about where 'here' actually is. And it also invites you to look more deeply into who you are. Which in turn helps you forget to focus on where you are going, but instead to enjoy simply being where you are. As they say, it's not the destination; it's the journey. And the journey of being 'never done' truly can be a joyful one. After all, if you were ever done, would you still be 'here'?
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Comments (8)
  written by twocrows, May 03, 2009
nnnnnnnnnhhhhh----
intellectually, I know you're right. emotionally, I WANT you not to be right. even the illustration of peeling an onion allows you to think of the core when the peels have all been discarded. ok, a new mantra: 'where from here?' I'll work at it -- or play with it.  written by Karen , May 04, 2009
I'm still holding out hope that we eventually get to a place that feels most restful, though as one with the life goal of Growth I'm not sure that's really possible!
We all like to measure ourselves in terms of 'progress' against some internal (or external) yardstick. I think that's part of the human experience. Lately I've been feeling pleased in noticing the length of time it takes to return to a feeling of centeredness after feeling off balance or within an old familiar pattern: the more I am able to let go of the eventual outcome (getting through the painful bits), the quicker it seems I feel 'normal' again. Next step for me is to try to not require any sort of yardstick at all and just enjoy the scenery along the way in the journey, but I think that one's a ways off yet. written by twocrows, May 04, 2009
ooooooo-- a goal of growth? that would be tough for getting to a place of rest, I would imagine.
my guess is, I might find it a bit [A BIT] easier with my goal of acceptance. and, if I can't get to the restful spot, I can, at least, allow myself to accept that I'm not there, yet. in fact, I did exactly that in today's post on my blog.  written by Giovanna Garcia, May 06, 2009
Hi!
I love the saying "its not the destination, it's the journey". We all just need to take action, and strive for whatever makes us happy. What a great post. Thanks for sharing. Have a great day~  written by Lisa (Mommy Mystic), May 07, 2009
I resonated with this - letting go of 'being done' has been a big theme for me. I think all our 'learning' growing up orients us around this idea of accumulating knowledge, testing, and graduating. So we bring that with us in whatever we undertake. Learning to just love a new way of living and growing is the key...
 written by channce, May 09, 2009
I love doing puzzles and life sometimes seems like a very involved puzzle to me where each clue uncovered leads to ever more clues and as a puzzle is solved it serves as a new clue to an even more intricate puzzle. Puzzles within puzzles. It strikes me as similar to the video games where you work hard to complete one level so that you can reach the next level and begin again, there, to explore, understand. and master the new level in order to again rise to the succeeding level, not even knowing or caring if there is ever any end to the levels achieved and mastered.
 written by MrNiceGuy, May 12, 2009
a fine journey is much happy if we have somebody to follow the paths of life...
nice post i love it... Write comment
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But it's an interesting thing ... to realize that this dance is never over — that there's always more or another layer or a slightly different perspective — can be hugely empowering. "You mean we're never DONE? We get endless do-overs?" That's exactly what I mean. Knowing that whatever issue you THINK you just laid to rest is going to come back and bite you in the you-know-what sometime later just lets you bring out the playful aspect the next time, or at least lets you open the door to it. And any time you can start thinking of life as PLAY instead of as WORK, it opens the way to new insights, and of course, to more joy.
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Thanks Karen.